Yesterday while walking the park I had a few thoughts come into my head. The first was about addiction and addictive personalities. The reason this has come up for me is I am one. As you are aware over the last month or so I have come to terms with a few things in my day to day life. I love food, I love alcohol. I love being extreme. What has come to my mind is it is ok to have an addictive personality. Lots of us do. We may not even realize that we do. Since really stepping outside of me and being and observer so to speak in my life. I have become very self aware that I need to start having positive outlets. For instance exercise. I need to change my mindset about exercise. In making it a means for weight loss. I, going forward will be thinking about it as a health benefit. An outlet to release pent up aggression and emotions. I will not let it become an addiction again like I did ten yrs or so ago. I will be creating a balance. Doing what I want and love. Not feeling obligated.
Also during this process I will be giving up alcohol. After my experience on New Years Eve. I am clear about a few things. One I have used alcohol as a social outlet for far to long. I, in my head have thought this will make me more fun and I will be who I genuinely want to be. UMMM why do I need alcohol to be this person. I have been doing this for so long that im not sure what it looks like without alcohol. I am calling this the Chris Einfalt experiment to healthy living without a bottle and food. I have turned down a few social activities so that the temptation isn't there. Addicts a lot of times have to do this.
I want to be a positive person. A healthy person. To surround myself with other healthy and happy people.
There is a reason your parents and other adults tell you to Be careful about the company you keep.
My therapist said something to me a couple of weeks ago and it struck a cord. It was this. Always look for things that make you happy now and through this journey of self. What a great reminder. Ya know what it has made all the difference. I am noticing the small things that make me smile. The little girl who doesnt care what anyone things about her glittery keds and pajamas. I think I can definately take a page out of the book from this girl. Individuality is an amazing thing.Why is it we, and I include myself in this forget how great it is to just be?? To not give a shit what others have to say??? Another book I am enjoying to the left.
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