Adorkable!!!

My how time flies when you are having fun. I have not wrote anything on here in well over 5 months. This last year or so has been quite the ride. the end of 2010 into 2011 was about transformation in my life. As most of you are aware I spent the last yr working on making myself a whole person. Well Ive always been a whole person but ive thought differently of myself. I, by focusing on me have learned so many things. Let go of stuff from the past and also alot of my coulda, shoulda , woulda.

The anger, The hate of others and myself are non existent . I let go of past hurts ranging from a childhood that did not go the way I thought it should. Ive let go of being angry at my mom for not being mother of the year. I still think shes a nut job sometimes, However Ive come to accept her for her. For the things she did try to do for us. In the long run I have a pretty amazing family. My mom instilled love and togetherness in all of us. We sisters are very close nit. 

Another amazing thing that happened is I finally let go of the ex. I was no longer angry with him. I no longer wished him ill will. Instead and Im still shocked this came from my mouth, I wished him healing and wellness. I Learned a ton from him. Not all bad. Ive chosen to take the good and bad and apply it to others in my life. I guess this is what life is about. Living and learning.

I did put the weight loss on the back burner. To be far and honest this is something that I am still struggling with. I need to recommit myself and start rocking it. I wont make excuses. I made other things a priority and this was not one of them. As Im writing this Im going to recommit myself to being the best I can be.



A huge thing that recently happened is Ive fallen in love. Not just in love with love, but In love with someone who is so amazing and treats me so well. I have myself a fellow nurturer. Who just gets me. I know Im an odd duck and he knows it too. Even with that he loves me. It is kinda funny how we reconnected. It was via the interwebs. I grew up with him. We went to the same Junior high and Highschool. I knew of him because his little sister was friends with my little sister. In looking back on the past I never thought in a million years I would be dating someone that I grew up with in Taylorsville. I actually at 18 yrs old said I would never go back in the neighborhood or have anything to do with the folks I grew up with. The universe had other Ideas for me. Thank goodness for that. I feel so lucky, So blessed. Somedays it seems surreal. I love the fact that he just lets me be me. No expectations. He doesnt want to change me. He just wants to love me.

I also realized that Ive had huge walls put up around me. Ive not wanted to let people in. Alot of the times I will do something to push them away. I am now in a place where I am open again. Its ok that I want to take care of others. This is not a bad thing. There just needs to be a balance. I also have learned that not everyone deserves my love or time. Ive done alot of releasing of old "friends" who have used and treated me poorly to make themselves feel better. I also am no longer afraid to just say my truth. Without being rude or mean.

I am still human and struggle with this one occasionally. Sometimes I am a little too honest. But what are you going to do except keep learning what works and what doesnt work.
I have had some great support this last year, and so I dont forget. I need to acknowledge and give credit to My close friends, You know who you are and my siblings. You have been my light when all I thought I could see was darkness. I love you all dearly.