Fair weathered friends and ex lovers/boyfriends.

Last night, well actually for the last few weeks I have come to realization that some that I call friends really are not. Its funny to me that the only time I hear from certain friends is if they are going out to party and get drunk. I, in the past have been the comic relief, friend that has taken care of everyone and made sure they are having a good time. Not anymore. Since dealing with me I have no desire to party, drink or go out to clubs. Its not fun anymore to me. I still am purging people out of my life. Some that at one point or another I have called best friends. I guess my question is do real friends talk about you behind your back, do real friends only want to be around you if you are having a good time. Not if you are being real and working through your life and the crap in it??? I, right now am enjoying my own time. I dont necessarily want to hang out, fix problems of other people. I want to fix, well fix is the wrong word. There is nothing wrong with me, I do need to tweek a few things in my life to be A more healthy me.

The next thing on my mind are exes. Over the last two months I have had three of them contact me. One just wanted to fuck. The other two I'm not quite sure. I am no longer desperate for love and attention. I only need those two things from myself.
One of them in particular wants to rekindle a romance from five years ago. I did hang out with him a few times. There are some things about him that I enjoy. For the most part though, I have moved on. I am not the same person I was five years ago. I have no need to get drunk nightly. I have no need to cling to someone or something that isnt real. Also this person was incredibly mean to me. He said and wrote some really mean things . One of which was if you lost weight I would marry you.Which really hurt. Thinking back I should have said well you need to have a bigger dick( ok not really but mean deserves mean back) Make more money and have your shit together. Not depend on mommy to pay your bills.
Curiosity killed the cat I suppose. I guess I wanted to see if I still liked him. I do as a friend, but I dont want him as a lover or a mate. I dont know if he gets it though. I wonder if I should just walk away. Is he truly someone that I want to call friend. I am so confused....

I actually do not want a relationship this year. I want to work and improve me. Not work and improve someone else. I have been making huge strides. Internally and physically.Born This Way