I am in a strange, almost foreign place. I am finally getting how truly kickass I am and how I am the only person standing in my way. It is amazing how so many things start to change when You start loving yourself. I am finding that I want to heal my outside and inside too. I am working with my therapist to heal the inside. I am going to the gym two to three times a week. Sometimes more. I have embraced vegetarianism once again. It started as an experiment but I think I am going to keep up with this. I have never felt better in my whole life. I recently met with my Neurologist and for the first time in a couple of years I got a clean bill of health as far as the ms is concerned. This felt really good. I think this is because I truly am taking care of me for the first time in my life. Instead of caring for everyone else. I am getting that people actually like me for me. Not for me taking care of them. Those that got used to manipulating and controlling me are disappearing quickly. Seems they are not a fan of the new me. Im still working through my eating disorder, but I take it day by day. I am finding more and more I am having good days vs bad.
I am hanging out with some new and cool peeps. I am learning lessons from them daily. The most valuable thing is that they love me for me. Even though I am eccentric and oft times a little strange. haha. Part of my charm.
I am letting go of people from the past thatI have all taught me valuable lessons. Most not good lessons. I will refrain from naming anyone. Lets just say im glad the deadwood is gone. After watching eat, pray, love I get it. I can love all the ones I have loved but sometimes your time is done with them and I must decide to release them to the universe with love and hope for the future. Not anger or hatred. Just peace and love. Wow, when you start letting go of the built up anger that only a passive/aggressive person carries. Things change, you change.
There are some areas that I am still working on and probably will be for awhile. My childhood being the main thing. Some of it far to personal to share on here. maybe at a later time when I have talked to the individuals involved and have finally healed. Right now I am finding that I am far to pist off at them. I am saying things that as a child I felt I couldnt. It is seeping out in sometimes not the best of ways. I guess im not going to be perfect its only been three months since this journey has begun. Time and talking about things will heal all wounds.
Hope everyone is having or had a wonderful valentines day. Hearts and such.
Chris
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